in and out
Laura's Life Story
My Life Story
By Laura Pearce
This is dedicated to the people who helped me to get off the street and away from alcohol and drugs and other addictions. Also to the people who gave me the strength to reach these Clean & Sober Days. Finally to my Higher Power which I call "Mother Nature" or the "Goodness in people" who keeps me serene in the times of trials.
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I would like to start with the backgrounds of both my father and my mother. My mother was born the eldest of a family of seven; the five children were all girls. She was born on a farm in Scotland near the county of Ayrshire. One thing that was important to her family was religion (and therefore, the church). Everyone was expected to attend the local church the only church in town, along with the one room school hall, which was all they had in this small town. Her father was a Brigadier and was wounded with shrapnel from the war. Her father took the family to Canada to help with the health of the family. This was also to escape the hardship of the war and with Robby Burns taking over their estate. The final reason she left (Scotland) was because of her health. My mom's family moved first to Winnipeg, Manitoba and then to Vancouver, British Columbia (Canada). Her mom (my grandmother) was very sick at the same time, but wanted to be treated like a queen as she was treated by her husband. This left my mom having to take care of the whole family. Thus my mom was expected to do everything but keep the family up to the standard they had when they were in Scotland. As the war was on, they had to ration their food so things like teas tea, milk & sugar were in short supply. Being brought up in an army family, everything was done with high standards and precise timing - to the point that they were expected to be perfect. My mother had to show everyone how to do properly, but ended do it all in the end. She had to be a perfect example for the rest of the family. This meant keeping the place clean and making sure all the meals were ready on time for everyone. This would be where she would later meet my father. For most of the year, she had a problem with the constantly raining weather that caused her breathing problems.
My dad was born in Dorking in the county of a Surrey near the city of London, England. My father lived on a farm but was poor and the church taught that the husband was the head of the family and the wife was to obey the husband. He took it as that the whole family had to obey him and so he could do things to them in the home away from others. My dad's warped belief of this was that anything inside the family was okay, even sex. His family was escaping the war, so they moved to Winnipeg, Manitoba (Canada), where they set up roots. All I know is that, later, my father moved to Vancouver where he met my mom.
They didn't go out together openly, because of their religious differences they had to hide being together. My mom being "Orange" (High Protestant) her dad felt this only region to accept in the way of marriage. My dad being Salvation Army, which was considered the poor man religion, was not allowed to get married without join the Salvation Army first. My mom did like her religion and my dad was not strong on his religion so they went out privately. However, my mom got pregnant and she could not hide it. Because of this and her having the child out of wedlock, the family shunned her. She became the 'disgraced', both in the church and in their community. When the child was stillborn, this made it evil in my mom's eyes (and in those of the church). So she thought that God's condemnation would be on the rest of the family. This forced her to get married and leave Vancouver. The first reason was to get away from all of the gossip in the church; of course, she would have to change her church due to the talk! The second reason for leaving was that she found her health to be no better in Vancouver than in Scotland. So they moved to Calgary, Alberta (Canada) where the weather and climate is dry.
Like her mom, my mother wanted to be treated like a queen - from both my dad and the family. Being shunned by her own family, she went through times of loneliness for her family. She wanted to be pampered at all times by my dad and if not pampered she would refuse sex with him. This cost my father time and expenses to keep her pampered. My dad had to take on many jobs to keep up with it. He was constantly tired of working and started to steal from these jobs to get extra money, which ended up getting him fired. When my mom found out about it, she was not pleased. She would demand even more from my dad. She had to keep up those high standards that she had set. She had to look beautiful at all times for church, and to thus look like a perfect Christian.
Her punishment on my father was always to withhold sex. To get back on good grounds with my mom again, he started to steal from letters he was delivering. This was all a mind control game to my mom. She got what she wanted from my dad or else. Even though (to her) she hated sex and all that came with it, we still ended up with a large family of seven. My mom got tired of sex after the sixth child was born; at that point, she refused sex totally. But she still expected the same quality of life from my dad.
My father got used to having sex once in a while, but having no sex was something he could not accept. He first tried by looking outside the family, but this was against his own beliefs, and what he lived by. So he turned to my sister instead and started doing it with her all the time. Then I finally came along after a long time, and my family wondered why with my mom doing no sex.
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If you want a copy of the whole story e-Mail @ cowgirl @ pearcewebsite.com
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My hope is that, in writing this story, it might in a small way open someone's heart and give him or her spirit to live for. This will also hopefully give you, and anyone else who reads this, some closure of the events of the past. I also hope you will be able to find a loving and better understanding of your "Higher Power" (HP) that will give you serenity. Remember, "Don't take that first drug or drink!"If you don't take that first drug or drink, then you can remain clean and sober
for one more day. Also remember that every one of you is precious and your life is worth it. As the guidelines say: "We don't need to like each other but we must give each other the respect and dignity that we all deserve" and "to look at the similarities rather than the differences." If this will bring you any help, then also remember to live one day at a time, or one moment at a time. I know in writing this story, it will help me for one more day. Remember that yesterdays are broken promises and hardship, and tomorrows are dreams unseen, so live "Just For Today", or live it, "One Day At A Time." Also, remember to stay around and not leave before the miracle happens. We may not have started you down this long road, but we can help along the way, if you just ask for it. Remember you are not an island and everything you do will make ripple effects on all those you touch. So make it worth it, for both our sakes.
I would like to thank all the people in my life that have helped me in the writing of this story and in the building of a new life worth living for. I will not mention all your names as I might forget one and hurt that person, and this I will never do. Also there are many whom I have not mentioned as they did not affect me directly. But with every seed you plant, it takes one to water, one to weed, one to cut the bad leaves. And...Mostly with time...the power of your HP will bring the growth and strength, which comes with the fruits of the Spirit.
So remember that everyone you speak to or have contact with is important to your life. Everyone is unique, and many folds will pay giving each person the respect and dignity that s/he deserves back. So do help yourself in your own life, and use your special talent(s) to give to all these persons who have touched your life and who have helped in the growth of your Soul.
From a loving, caring, and recovering Addict and Alcoholic may your "Higher Power" give you a very special blessing and a sober and clean 'for today'...that is my hope for you all that read this.
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- 2021 -
Surviving in and out of the Cow Town
My Life Story
By Laura Pearce